The Possessive – A Teaser

The below is an excerpt from The Possessive, a Vampire/Witch romance now available on Radish Fiction.

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She took both bottle and glass to the lounge room and dropped down onto the lounge, kicking her feet up onto the glass coffee table. She sipped the wine and pulled her laptop into her lap. She opened the lid and stared at the website that she’d been stalking for two weeks now.

Eli Damiani, CEO of the entertainment industry’s shining star SinCorp, has announced the purchase of five new land holdings across City Central and Hamilton Bay and says that SinCorp plans to use at least three of these holdings to open new nightclubs.

Despite vocal objections from local lobby groups that insist Damiani is creating a culture of ‘booze and strippers’ in otherwise upper class neighbourhoods, stock prices for SinCorp have soared to over $121.61 per share.

Soph let her eyes drift from the article that she’d already read a dozen times to the accompanying picture. Eli Damiani stared back at her, his arms crossed over his chest and a knowing smirk on his lips.

In the two weeks since they’d had drinks together she’d only seen him a handful of times across the street. He’d never noticed her. She sighed and opened a new browser. Maybe she should Google Marco instead.

A loud crash behind her made her jump and someone began hammering on her door. She lurched to her feet to open it, aware in the back of her mind of the fact that her doorman, Harvey, hadn’t buzzed her to tell her someone was coming up.

She put her hand on the door knob and felt her amulet flare hot against her chest. The warning didn’t deter her; she pulled the door open.

Eli was there, his dark hair in a tousled – as if he’d been running – and his eyes wild with panic. His chest heaved and he was braced against the door frame as if some invisible force was stopping him from coming inside.

Beyond him, she could see that the door to the fire exit had been almost ripped from its hinges and from within she could hear a guttural shriek echoing up the stairwell. It was coming closer.

“Soph,” Eli begged, his voice hoarse, “please let me in.”

Writing Tip 01: Writing Realistic Relationships.

I’ll begin with a bit of a rant.

A big problem I find in reading stories with relationships, particularly on Wattpad, is that they aren’t very realistic and therefore difficult to invest in. Some of the problems I’ve come across:

  1. Two people fall absolutely, devoutly in love faster than three day old pizza takes to heat up.
  2. A man is unnecessarily overprotective to the point of domestic abuse and the woman finds this romantic.
  3. The couple is perfect. They have no flaws, or disagreements. They have as many dimensions as The Simpsons.

Now how many relationships do you see like this in real life that aren’t shallow, violent or doomed for failure? None. (Feel free to mention your cousin’s dog’s brother’s mum and her boyfriend if you want to disagree.)

Now, with my (in)expert opinion, I will try to offer some tips on setting up realistic relationships in your stories.

Feelings take time to develop

Sure, there’s always that one weirdo who falls head over heels the moment he sees a gal, but for it to be reciprocated in such a way is unusual, and if it is, I call LUST. It’s cool for someone to start the relationship in their story this way, but I want to see ramifications -such as lack of compatibility – before the end!

Love isn’t always even

One person often loves the other more than is reciprocated, and that’s okay. It’s fine for one person to declare feelings to the other person before the second person is ready. It’s fine for one to dote on the other more than is returned. It’s fine for the person who loves more to wonder if/why they do love the other more, just as it’s fine for them not to care and to be confident in that adoration.

Overprotective is NOT romantic

You heard me. I said OVERprotective, not just protective. If you take a punch to the face for your girl to save hers the beating, that’s cool. Telling her she can’t wear a mini skirt to a nightclub because other dudes might take a looksie, that’s not cool. And it’s definitely not romantic.

Unfortunately, some women who get caught in these situations cannot see past the man. If this happens in a story, I expect her mother, friends and brothers to be telling her how it really is. They’re not stuck in the abusive relationship. They can SEE what’s going on and they better stand up and try and fix it. Not everyone loves an asshole.

Couples are symmetrical. NOT!

Couples who don’t fight? I call bullshit. Even if they don’t scream at each other, I would expect all couples to disagree on something, whether it be how the socks are folded, or if they have kids before they turn thirty or they don’t want to run with the same Alpha anymore. Disagreeing is okay, it shows that two people who are together are also individuals. In a story it gives them depth and something to work towards to strengthen their bond.

So there you go. Things that bother me when reading about couples and tips that may help you with yours in a tight spot. If you think there are other things that would make a couple more realistic, let me know. x